Post-it® Brand Celebrates its 30th Birthday = an awesome contest and prizes!!

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(Blog post done entirely using Post-it Notes! Creative or what!)



Here are some ways I use Post-it® Notes:

TO GIVE DIRE WARNINGS:



And stop people from stealing my stuff.



TO STICK ON PEOPLE:

I did this and laughed to myself for a good half hour!! *wipes away tears* Ah that's good entertainment.

TO DECIDE ON MY LIP COLOUR FOR THE DAY:





Think I'd go with the pink...

AS REMINDERS:



Yes your furry critters will appreciate the extra noms they get.



And to remind myself to bleach my black roots...



TO SHOW LOVEEEEEE:



Put sweet little notes in unexpected places... Gives loads of joy!



To celebrate Post-it®'s 30th birthday,
they are giving away generous prizes!!




Fun, huh?

Have a great idea about how to use a Post-it® Note, or maybe the way you use your Post-it® notes is really innovative?

Be sure to take part!

It's really simple. Just creatively use Post-it® Super Sticky Notes (must be super sticky kind), and take a short video or picture!!!

After that,

Submit your entry by 18th April and you could WIN!!!!!!!!!

Isn't it great!! Submit now!

And don't steal my ideas I'm also going to take part! My entry is the last picture (the one in the toilet mirror) coz I think it's the most simple and touching! :D

(More contest details HERE)

Want to win instant prizes instead? If you are a nuffnang blogger you can win exclusive Post-it® Brand hampers!! Details click HERE. Super easy!

Happy Birthday Post-it® Brand!

P/s: Join Post-it® Brand's FACEBOOK page HERE!

PR for middle-aged men: How not to appear to be a lao tiko

(lao tiko = lecherous pervert)

That day I was on a cab, as usual, when a 50+ year old uncle started asking me about my hair. (also as usual)

Yes, I know you also have questions

I understand that it's the most striking thing about me, but I'm sick to DEATH of being asked the question of "how long does it take to dye it that colour?".


WHY DO PEOPLE CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES??


The answer is about 1 hour, ok? YES, ONLY ONE HOUR!


As I gave increasingly placid answers, his enthusiasm grew and he went on to ask what job I do that allows blonde hair - which is another question I am sincerely sick of answering.

And I thought to myself, "Stupid lao tiko... I don't want to talk to you can?"

Then I realised something. He wasn't flirting with me or hitting on me... He was just being curious, just like any other person!

If the same questions were asked by, say, a friend's mom, I'd just answer (albeit uninterestedly) and not think that much.

If the same questions were asked by someone I like, say J K Rowling, I'd be flattered that she noticed and answer with relish.

If it's asked by Zac Efron I'd invite him to touch my hair. Maybe shove it in his face.

Oh yes

Why the disparity? Because I am CURIOUS about the latter two and not remotely curious about the cab driver. I have no questions for him, so it is pointless to even make an effort to speak to him as I get nothing in exchange for it. I give you trivia, and what do you give me? Stinking 30% peak hour surcharge. Fuck that.

Sad but true.

(Not to say all cab drivers are uninteresting. Just this one in particular.)

Life sure is hard for middle-aged uncles! (I refer to those we are not Richard Gere or George Clooney or Chow Yun Fatt)

As it is, as long as they talk to a youngish girl we all assume they are hitting on us and shun them.

So as such, for the sake of the 5 or so middle-aged men reading my blog (Geez, are you perverts or something? Stop wanking to my photos! - HAHAHA), I'm going to help salvage this PR disaster of men in your age group!

HOW NOT TO APPEAR LECHEROUS

1) Stop staring

For christ's sake giving someone the once-over is NOT ok. It is only ok if you are Meryl Steep in The Devil Wears Prada coz she has a work excuse to do so.

It is also NOT ok to completely turn in the middle of your walk to stare. Not ok to turn in your cab driver seat 180 degrees to stare (awkward!). Not ok to turn in your coffeeshop seat.

NOT OK TO STARE AT BOOBS/LEGS/ASS.

Don't. Just don't. Resist it.


2) Talk about your wife

If you really wish to start up a conversation with a young lady about anything you wish to know, first blow away her rightful discrimination of men like you by preempting that you are in love with somebody else.

This is an actual conversation I had with another cab driver today: "Wow how long does it take to dye your hair? My wife tried but she can't get that colour... And once she got the closest to that colour, she is a banker so the bank told her to dye it black again. Haha"

See? Much better.

If you don't have a wife, make one up.

If you have a GIRLFRIEND when you are 50, please don't call her your girlfriend. You just sound like a loser lao tiko trying to hao lian his Cheena girlfriend, whether or not that's the case. Ew, gross.


3) Talk about your kids

You may draw comparison of the kids to the girl you are talking to, ie, "Which school did you go to to work as a blogger? My daughter blogs too, and she wants to be a blogger."

Coz presumably if I'm like your daughter then you don't wanna fuck me. Right? Right, unless you are Jack Neo.


4) DO NOT TALK ABOUT SEX

SO. NOT. OKAY.

Seriously. Cheebye cab drivers telling me about their China mistresses. I FUCKING HAD ENOUGH!


5) Do not sneakily take a photo

Surely you understand why girls won't be comfortable with that??! I WILL throw your stupid phone into the PIE!


6) Do not comment on people's looks or praise them.

Yeah ok you think a girl is pretty. Why bother telling her when loads of people have told her before? Think her skirt shows off her ass nicely? KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF.

And don't stare while praising. CREEPS X 100000000 hello!


7) Don't ask if we have a boyfriend.

What's it got to do with you and why do you care?!

**********************

That's all I can think of for now. Add whatever you can think of in the comments!!


I understand that when you hit 50 and is driving a cab you probably don't give a fuck about whether the young girl you are driving knows you are hitting on her. But she might maze you! Just saying.

Going to KL tomorrow! Going for the Project Alpha press conference and an FHM shoot! :D Back in 2 days.

Crazy April!

In another 12 hours' time I'd be flying off to San Francisco!!

Can't say why yet but it's HUGE!!!!!!!!! Well to me it is anyway!!

I'm going on a press junket for only 2 days and I'd be rushing back by April 3rd so I can go to the Canon Symposium... Where apparently there will be 300 people listening to me talk nonsense. Why, I cannot understand. The Nuffies suggested I should charge for conferences though, which sounds like a swell idea. Just kidding, I'm way too lazy.


(Touch down at 10am, have to reach Symposium by 12pm. The Nuffies are worried sick that my flight will be delayed/cancelled. Won't one lah where got so suay, right? Right?? *Crosses fingers)


Anyway April is a crazy crazy month for me!!

Here's the ding dong schedule:


30th to 3rd: San Francisco

6th to 8th: KL for Project Alpha press conference and *maybe* a FHM shoot

10th to 11th: Bintan for a friend's birthday

14th to 18th: Tbilisi, Georgia - to also talk at a conference with Gillian

23rd to 10th May: Dallas for our annual trip back to see Mike's family and also for his younger brother Paul's wedding! Omg I'm so excited!!

I'm excited about all the trips! Talk about living out of a suitcase man. Confirm don't need to unpack, maybe only transfer from big suitcase to small suitcase.

Ok I'm gonna curl my hair now see ya guys in 3 days!

Psycho bitch

I think twitter is awesome because it is somehow even more revealing of people's personalities than blogs are. That's coz when people blog emotional posts it's triggered by certain feelings. I like to blog when I'm pissed off, so that's the constant emotion that's portrayed here (in the text parts anyway).

Some people blog when they are happy. Some when they are emo. And therefore only certain personality traits are shown.

But on twitter you see happy tweets and angry tweets and bored tweets etc etc!

And then there are psycho tweets. So I'm gonna blog about this psycho bitch who keeps replying me on twitter.

A few days ago I went to Far East Plaza and walked past my tattoo's artist Jeremy's shop. So I stopped by to say hi and enquired where Jeremy is.

One of the staff/owner there said Jeremy is no longer here and is in Europe. I don't know if I heard wrongly or whatever but he also said that Jeremy is not coming back. I asked why and the answer is coz can earn more money there (in Europe).

So I tweeted that I'm sad coz Jeremy is no longer available in Singapore. And that when you mix talented people with publicity, they will be so busy and successful you can't use their services anymore!

Jeremy was featured in the first episode of Guide to Life but when I was talking about publicity, I WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT ME GIVING HIM PUBLICITY.

I was talking about publicity in general, which talented people are bound to get, from me or whoever!!

(Even if I'm talking about me so what? Truth is I've sold out many products before!)


Enter psycho bitch:

Very polite and normal right? She is apparently the cousin of another Tattoo Artist, E (whom I've also met and like quite a lot, he is also v talented), and supposedly Jeremy is gonna work with E now and will be back tomorrow or something. But I have no idea how true her info is coz as mentioned, psycho bitch.

So I just replied pleasantly that I'm happy Jeremy will still be in Singapore and that I must have got or heard wrong info from the guy in Jeremy's old shop.


THEN THIS DING DONG......

WTF MAXIMUM??????????????

So I misheard info also cannot is it? She @messaged a bunch of people to complain about how she cannot stand me and all... With shitloads of logical fallacies!

(none of these people replied her wtf)

Kena accused of feeling like a "LOSER". What has "feeling like a loser" got to do with me not screaming at her? Totally don't get it.

And why the hell would I scream at her when she was so polite to me?

I didn't even see her crazy timeline (obviously I don't follow her) till today coz another follower informed me about her (I presume this follower kpo went to see psycho bitch's profile).

If not for someone informing me I'd think this girl is so nice lor! Then never mind.

She must have read my reply (I replied before I knew how psycho she is) about misunderstanding the ex-colleague of Jeremy's, so she tweeted:

Two more perfectly normal, nice tweets.

So I got curious after seeing the first few abusive tweets, and I went to read her timeline all the way from the beginning. And here it is, chronologically:

In reply to my tweet about Heidi Montag's surgery. I replied that Heidi told Hello magazine she did 10 surgeries in one day. Her reply:

Psycho bitch being nice.

And in reply to my tweet about attending my first wedding as the couple's friend, not relative:

And in reply to me doing eyelash extensions:

Such a sweet girl!



Another nice tweet



In reply to me buying a hat for my ROM.
(I didn't reply or replied positively)



AND 30 MINS LATER:

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WTF?? WHAT DID I DO?




Logic fail.



I really don't know.

And you know what's the funniest thing??

SHE IS AN ASPIRING WEDDING PLANNER!!!!!!!!!!!

MAXIMUM IRONY!!!!!!!!!!!!


Here's a tweet she wrote:

So you don't get why you don't get clients, but everyone who is or will be a client in future is a bimbo who can't plan their own wedding?!

When did I ever said I'm classy?!?!





Then why are you constantly replying me like you like me?! WTF?

And a mere 4 hours before her abusive "tattoo artist" tweets, she was teaching me how to cook lady's fingers:

PSYCHO!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't decide if she hates me or loves me.

p/s: Comments containing her URLs will be deleted.