MUTHAFUCKING LONG POST GOT DELETED BY BLOGGER JUST WHEN I WAS DONE I HATE THE WORLD

I dunno what to write about leh ... But I've got good news though. I've just quit my full-time job to do more part-time work, and that means I'd have time to write more! I'm so sorry about the lag, been very busy recently, and I've been procrastinating on blogging - mainly coz there is so much to update in the media center, oh well... and any brilliant writing ideas will be given to my weekly Newpaper column first, and then second in waiting is Maxim... Maybe tonight, and yes I realised this entry has no point whatsoever...

Whether you have been a sour victim of one of his practical jokes, part of the audience that laughed with him, or are one of his lucky friends whom he has always been so loyal to, one thing is sure about Jing wei: He was never mediocre or forgettable.

Those who knew him best loved him for his honest opinions, his bright ideas, his funny and cynical view of the world, his cute smile that can light up any room and well, his floppy hair, among other things.

My classmate of sec 3 and 4 as well as a CCA mate (NCC), I remember Jingwei as being exceptionally streetwise. He was resourceful and quick-witted with a tinge of shrewdness - the exact makings of a good businessman - and one just knew he is the type who would be rich and successful later in life.

During NCC, the seniors would always make fun of him because he was, then, still rather chubby and short (which he totally isn't now - became lanky and more shuai), and I'd get paired up with him because well, I'm short too. And then we went into 3J, where, with some of the other more rebellious classmates, we'd all set out to traumatize teachers as well as make fun of other students.

He was part of the clique in school, but was never a really close personal friend. After school ended Jingwei still kept in close contact with Ghimz. I still see him when I meet Ghimz with the rest of the gang. Whenever there is a new year dinner, or a Xmas dinner, Jingwei will be there, he'd surely be there...

Last Christmas I scolded Jingwei.

I said, "Why didn't you approve the testimonial I wrote for you?!"

And Jingwei replied, "Don't want lah, it is so stupid!"

"It is not hor!" I retorted. "It is funny! 'Jing-le bells, Jing-le bells, Jing-le all the WEI!!' not funny meh? Somemore it is in time for Xmas ok!"

Our friends gave dry laughter and only Ghimz agreed it is slightly, only slightly, funny.

So Jingwei said alright, if I insist, he'd approve it if I write it again. (My first testimonial is here)

So I told him I can only write him next year, because Xmas is over now!









But even if I do, even if I write a fucking million times now, Jingwei cannot approve of it anymore.

Because he passed away April 09, 2005, at 2.40pm. He was only 20.



He, and some other classmates, were imitating the way our form teacher pouts.

If you ask me, I'm really shocked and lost. I have never expected anyone my age to pass away, and even if it happens, I've always expected it to be a friend's friend's relative or someone I don't really know.

I don't know what to do at the funeral, I don't know what do say to my sobbing friends to comfort them, because I am not that kinda age where friends pass away. I refuse to be. I am only 20! Jingwei is far too young to be taken away from us.

**********

To those who haven't heard yet, anyone from NJC or RV who knew him, Goh Jingwei has left us forever. He had a tragic bike accident. If you know him and would like to know more, do email me.

Meanwhile, the rest of you guys take care ok, esp Xiao Yu, Ah dong (YOUR HEALTH PLEASE!!) and Ghimz...

Singapore Fashion Festival!

IT WAS FANTABULOUS!

It was well-organised, the seats were enough, and the models were pretty professional looking!

First the Versace show. Compared to the Triumph show I thought the Versace one would be more dull and less glitterazi as it wasn't the final show, but I was wrong!

I went with my colleague and this is my seat! The second row where the arrow is pointing.



Just behind Kim Ng. =)

And guess who was supposed to sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME??

You wouldn't believe it. Fiona Xie! Ha! But of course, front row not atas enough, so she was seen later loitering upstairs at the gallery.

Glad for that.

Directly opposite were ...



Wong Li Lin (nice dress!), her husband Allan Wu, and Shawn Chen.

And then right in front of me were two extremely pretty socialites,



totally clad in Versace in honour of the event. Envious, I tell you. Girl behind looks like Shu Qi, so I didn't crop her away!



I was in some lucid green thing and terribly underdressed.

There were some other celebrities like Diana Ser, Beatrice Chia and Robin Leong, but no photos of them.

About the show ... Well I forgot to on my camera to the high resolution mode so the pictures are all quite sucky.



This model is pretty cute ...



And this outfit is more horrible than words can describe. What was Versace thinking? Oh I know ... Money? Cock.

And then the Triumph show (BTW sorry ah I am damn tired so not writing much) ...



Went with Adrian and Huifen! This time I wore a brown dress with boots and was overdressed. -_-



Adrian claims he is a celebrity so NO PHOTOS, PLEASE! NO PICTURES! NO COMMENTS!



Me and him again. Come to think of it the cap dak (don't) match the pink shirt, hor?



Mark Zee with Bernard Tang. Mr Zee and Rachel Lee are no longer together btw. And Bernard knows the whole wide world. Adrian said can play a game of "five degrees of Bernard Tang" - i.e. Saddam Hussien - George Bush - Lee Kwan Yew - Mah Bow Tan (Adrian's dad) - Bernard Tang. Wow! Hahaha!



Edmund Chen with his brother, who was looking damn forlorn for some queer reason. Erm? Half-naked girls in a minute? HELLO???!

Speaking of which, the most famous person at the event is Edmund Chen, followed by Patricia Mok, Rosalind Pho, Mark Zee and then possibly me, because everyone reads my blog!!! Tsk. I am so full of myself I surprise myself sometimes.



Girls from Ms SG Universe.

Show started with ...



her! Walking pass my prime front row seats! (damn good to be media I tell you. Damn good.)



Then up the stage ...


HOT STEAMING BUNS! Holy crap.

Seriously speaking, the girls did not look THAT good in real life, like we could see cellulite and all, but I have no idea why they turn out SO DAMN YUMMY ON CAMERA. I didn't do any photoshop at all. OMG.

Then it was DEVIL GIRLS!



I think the under part of the boob looks nicer than the top. =)

Then it is fun time!




That man with the video must be a damn happy man!

Topless girls started to come out ...




Then guys came out, only wearing satin cloths around their creamy golden waists. I wanna fuck them allllllllllll!!! *Claps hands over mouth.* DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD??



I have to gush about him. I have to! MAD MAD MAD. He came out from backstage, and started to boogie about, shaking his chest muscles (they were jittery!!) and inviting claps and cheers.

AND HE HAS PENIS VEINS! In case you didn't already know, I fucking love penis veins. Love them!!! It is so sexy how the veins lead down to the *ahem*, showing how blood is flowing down there and oh oh oh I just love penis veins!!





...





OH MY GOD HE IS SO HOT!



Hmmm... Baby Siberian Huskies. Huskie butt. Human Butt. Once you see the similarity somehow the model's butt loses its sex appeal, no?

End of the show ...





AND WHO COMES OUT??



JON JOHNSON!! Cannot believe it! He is the winner of America top male model or something lah, and SUPER HOT CAN?!

And guess what?



WAH! Siao BOH?! He hugging me leh!

Ok no more Triumph photos already....

After that we went to Indochine for the after-party ...


Martin, Jonathan, Loon Yang and Adrian.

I didn't realise Jonathan was doing the sexy blogger pose until I was editng the picture, then I kept laughing and laughing. Ha! Dunno what Adrian looking at.... -_-



Outside a big fish tank with Rosalind this time.

Ok I am damn fucking tired. I am going to sleep now, good nights all!

p/s: going Bintan for next few days yeah?

Preview preview!

Because I love you guys, I thick-skinnedly asked Singapore Fashion Week's PR agent in charge (thanks a lot Joyce!) if i could get media passes for the Versace and Triumph fashion show.

I've got front row seats and lots of pictures. You might want to come back tomorrow. =)

How to add?!?

Click to enlarge

I'm sorry if I didn't add you in friendster, but the sight of that amount of people waiting gave me a small heart attack.

BULLET

A man came home one day after work, earlier than usual because he wasn't feeling so well.

Upon entering his house, he realised that something seems amiss, as there was an extra pair of men's shoes there, put neatly at the doorstep.

The ominous foreboding started to rise as he tried to rush up the stairs as quietly as he can, his heart beating loudly beneath his ribs.

And it was as bad as he expected. His wife was on the bed with another man, thoroughly naked. He, that horrible horrible man, had the nerve to nuzzle her neck!

Flashbacks of their relationship came to him; their courtship, how it stabled into marriage, how she promised she'd never do anything to hurt their love... The pain suddenly hit him with a pang as he realised how much he loves her, and how this fragile trust is going to be forever broken, just like the marriage he worked so hard on.

He lost control of his emotions. He must kill the this man - this man who must have seduced his wife! Without a second thought, he pounced on him, strangling his neck, while his wife tried to explain the situation to him.

No explanation is needed, he thought. The sight of her naked before that man angered him even more, and she had the cheek to defend him? He'd settle her later - killing the man is more important.

The man fought back hard, and managed to fling the estranged husband onto the floor beside the bed. That slut started to help him wipe away the blood from his broken lip! That was more that the husband could bear. He opened his drawer, and whipped out a revolver.

The cheating couple froze, terrified. The wife had never known what was inside that locked drawer - but he knew. He had put the gun in himself for this precise reason, and the innate feeling he had that told him one day this would happen gave him a mild surprise.

How ironic, he thought. Because if he could have predicted this, then he shouldn't be impulsive enough to kill them, would he? And how ironic it is that he had told himself, while putting the gun in, that he wouldn't be using it, but it is "just as a precaution" - but here he is, holding it ready.

At this he laughed a maniacal laugh. His wife and her lover had been talking to him from the other side of the bed - the bed they fucking slept in, fucking hell; did he sleep on that man's semen? - trying to make him put down the gun, but -

"NO! SHUT UP!" he hollered at them, not absorbing a word.

"Calm down, Russell," his wife said, "I can explain, I really can! Please listen to me!"

She blabbered on as usual when she is nervous, her words tumbling over each other. Usually he listens because it is funny, but now it is just an irritating hum against his confusing thoughts.

"Shut up Agnes, or I'd blow your head in." Russell said in soft voice. "You fucking slut," he added as an afterthought.

Silence.

The man made a move to rush out of the door.

Russell aimed to shoot at him, but fumbled with the cold metal's switches. It was in safety mode. This was the moment the lover needed and he jumped on Russell, trying to get the gun.

Russell, in desperation, fired a shot that went out of the window into their garden.

During the struggle, Russell was shot in the chest, and died.

"Oh Adrian, Adrian, what have you done?!" Agnes cried. "We killed him!"

Adrian stood numbed, his naked body splashed with fresh blood (and also some semen from just now).


*

Years passed. Adrian and Agnes buried Russell's body and led a new life together, still staying in the same terrace and sleeping on that eventful bed.

They now have two daughters, and that unfortunate event was never mentioned again.

"Adrian," said Agnes one day. "Would you go chop off that tree in the garden? It pains me to look at it; it is so diseased and old."

"Hmmm..." said Adrian who was beginning to find Agnes a pain in the ass. He was patronising her and hoping she'd just shut up.

"Will you go? Now?" Agnes said, with a cliched look of an angry housewife with a powdery apron and a rolling pin in hand.

Where are that woman's beautiful curls gone to? Adrian thought. Stopped growing the head and started growing down below? Adrian laughed to himself.

He dragged himself out of the house and took up the chainsaw.

What dull work, he thought, as he begins to saw down the old tree.

He was halfway into the trunk and still feeling rather dull when suddenly the blade of the fast-spinning chainsaw hit Russell's old misfired bullet and it ricocheted out in an angle, finally hitting Adrian in the face and through his brains, finally killing who it was meant to kill in the first place.



*******************

DREAM HOUSE

She woke up at 315am that night, nudging her sleeping husband.

"What is it, baby? It's late..." he mumbled.

"I dreamt of it again! It's that beautiful house! We must make our house like that!" she replied in excitement.

"You know we cannot afford it, baby. I'd love to buy it for you, but we can hardly afford such luxuries," he said.

"Hmpf," she said. "I've been dreaming about that house for the past 3 months! I want it."

But he had gone back to sleep.

It is no wonder that she wanted the place so much. Almost everyday she dreamt of it, and she knew every detail by heart. She loved its ancient Victorian settings, its lavish grandeur, and its lush red carpets. The funny thing is how the house never changed setting in her dreams. Always the same, almost faithfully urging her.

But their place is the exact opposite of her dream house. He liked the place with urban settings, and metal and glass filled their apartment instead of comfortable wood and old velvet. He knew his wife's housing preferences, but he also knew that such places are not going to be cheap - which, as abundant as his love for her is, he cannot afford.

He was still troubled over this when he drove pass a house in the countryside one day.

He stopped and stared.

The house proudly stood on soft green carpet grass, separated from the rest of the world by pearly white gates and flanked by two stone angels, exactly as his wife described to him ever so often.

A sign was hanging from one of the angels. "For Sale," it said. "Call Mr. Brown at 244-3958-375"

He laughed heartily and decided to call and try.

"Hi, how much are you selling the house off Dunhill road?" he enquired.

The real estate agent stated a ridiculously cheap sum.

"Really? Why is it so cheap?"

"Well, if you really want to know, the owner wants to sell it cheap because the place is haunted. She wants to get rid of it fast."

"Ha!" said the husband, who didn't believe in ghosts. "I'd take my chance! Can I view the house tomorrow then? I'd bring my wife along."

So it was settled.

The next day, when she arrived, she was stunned speechless.

The house was EXACTLY like what she had dreamt about. She followed the agent inside, still gingery from the shock. It wasn't a mere resemblance of her dream house; it WAS her dream house.

Its red carpets, that intricately craved wooden table at that exact place, the quaint fireplace... She was beside herself in joy!

"I want this house baby, I want it so! It is what I saw in my dreams!" she gushed.

Her husband smiled and said, yes, yes indeed they are going to own it, because it is affordable.

The real estate agent was glad to get a deal so easily. "Well," he said. "The owner will be arriving very soon, I think! As long as you sign this contract with her, the deal is sealed and the house is yours!"

The trio was having some pleasant talk about the house when suddenly a loud piercing scream filled the house.

The owner, standing a few metres away, was looking utterly thunderstruck and was had dropped her keys and bag in shock. Her eyes were popping and her mouth was agape in horror. Her finger was pointing directly at the wife.

"It is you," she said, "You are the ghost that haunts my house every night."


***********************

Stories adapted from the popular TV series, Fact or Fiction. Rewritten by me. I love that show and thought I'd share the stories that I remember. Any more? If anyone has any to contribute, do write it in the comments!!

p/s: I am sorry if I scared you. But ... Both stories are facts.